This will be long, but will give you our story of how we came to adoption and where we are at right now.
Our Story:
Back in the days before kids, Aaron and I had discussed adoption in depth. His younger sister is adopted domestically and his family had done foster care while he was growing up so it was something that he was always open to. I on the other hand was a big not at all interested in adoption. I was mainly concerned with all of the unknowns of adoption (issues, not liking us, wanting to go back to their real mom....) and I just didn't want to bring that into my family. I knew we wanted 3 kids and I was perfectly fine with that. From then on, he didn't force the discussions of adoption and basically just left it at that.
So now fast forward 7 years to April 2013. We attend The Chapel and they are very involved with missions. The Chapel is partners with Living Hope International out of PA and they have an adoption agency that works in China. The Chapel has done several short term missions trips with them twice a year. The Chapel was talking about the next upcoming trip where they were going to do some construction work at one of the orphanage buildings and that really interested Aaron. He loves to work with his hands and build things so he thought this would be a great opportunity for him to serve. So he asked if he could go and I immediately said absolutely! So he signed up to go and that was that. I didn't think once about how China has a huge issue with children needing adopted and how their living conditions are just unbelievable.
In May of 2013 Aaron left to go on the trip with a handful of others from church. At the last minute Aaron's part of the trip (to do construction work) got cancelled so he and his small group were going to join the rest of the team doing orphan care. He was bummed at first, but knew God was in control and was up for whatever.
While he was gone, I would pray for his team and it would always get put on my heart about adoption. I began to think about it all the time and kind of argue and debate in my mind about adoption and all the fears that I had with it. God just kept putting it on my heart and basically came to the conclusion that I needed to trust him and know that all those fears will be taken care of and that I didn't need to worry about them. And me being the planner I am, I began to get really excited! I started to think of names, how to plan her and Leah's room, what we would need to do to get ready for her to come. When Liam was born, I was super excited to have him in the family and for Owen to have a brother, but to be honest I was a little bummed because I wanted Leah to have a sister. And if someone asked if we were done having babies, I would tell people that if I could get pregnant once more and that it would be a girl, I would do it. BUT that's not how things go:) Every pregnancy got worse for me that with Liam it was almost miserable and I said I was done. So with the thought of adoption, all I could think was "well then Leah could have a sister! China has an abundance of girls that need adopted. We could do this." So while he was gone, I just kept thinking and praying about the whole thing.
So when he returned from China, I randomly one night brought it up. I simply said, "What would you think of adopting a little girl from China?" Aaron about lost his jaw! He pretty much was like "What did you do with my wife? Did you just say that?" He was pretty shocked! So we began to talk about it and discuss adoption and how that would work. We basically came to an agreement that we are very grateful for all that God has given us. Aaron has a great job, I am blessed to stay at home with the kids, we have a nice home, and we have great friends and family to support us. We agreed that this was something we really wanted to think and pray on together to make sure this is where God was leading us. Aaron also mentioned that I go to China that October with the next missions trip to just see and get a glimpse of China for myself, see the country, the children and just take in the culture. So I signed up to go in October. At first I was a little nervous because Liam would be just 1 and then Owen was 3 and Leah was 5. Would things be ok at home while I'm across the world for 10 days? He was very encouraging and said things would be ok and that he would have help and that I should go. So I said ok and began to prepare for that.
In October, I went to China. It was such an incredible experience! The culture over there is just so amazing, different, and interesting. The children of course grabbed my heart, and it completely confirmed what we had been praying about and I knew that this was something that we needed to do. So when I got home from China we started looking into the requirements for adopting from China. OH MY WORD! They are such a strict country and they have some crazy restrictions. (you must be between 30-45, you must have a certain BMI, you must have so many assets, if you have children, they must be 1 years old) So at the time, our biggest road block was my age. Aaron was already 30 but I was going to be 30 in June 2014. So we just took the time in between really praying and making sure that this was what God had for us. We mentioned it to our small group and just asked them for prayer and then we told a select few close friends as well to pray. It also gave us the time to really look into our finances and figure out how to pay for it. (can we save for it, do we get a loan, do we fundraise... $35,000 is A LOT of money and we don't just have that to drop instantly to pay for everything) We also began looking at the different agencies. There are SO many to pick from so it was hard to narrow it down to just one. We ended up choosing Living Hope Adoption Agency in PA since we had worked with them on our missions trip in China, some friends of ours adopted two girls from China and used them, and since it's a smaller organization, it's a little more personal than just a job for them.
I decided to start selling Jamberry to help bring in some extra money that we could put towards the adoption. We are also going to do a garage sale this spring to get rid of some things we no longer need. Aaron has talked about making some bottle openers and other things to sell. We are applying for some grants and are on a strict budget to bring her home. We know that a loan is an option, but we really feel that to be our last option.
Fast forward to June: I turned 30!! We decided to finally fill our families in on what has been going on in our hearts and minds for the last several months. We asked them to begin to pray for us as well.
In August we began the paperwork:) We also decided it was time to tell all our friends and family! it was so nice to get it out in the open and not have to hide or keep it in anymore! We wanted people to be excited for us, to pray for us, and to be with us along this ride so to keep it inside was not an option anymore! We received our approval and then scheduled our home study. A social worker has to come in and ask you all sorts of questions about you, your spouse, your kids, your families, your marriage, how you parent, see your house.... We had that done in the beginning of November and received our typed paperwork from him in December. We then had to send that to our agency for approval and in mid December we got that approved. And so the next step is to fill out an I-800 application to send to the USCIS (US consulate) and get their approval basically saying that we are allowed to bring a child from another country into our home. We sent in those papers on Christmas Eve and hope to hear back from that sometime the end of January. Our next step then is to send ALL of our paperwork (called a dossier) to China and their government has to look over everything to approve us for adoption. These papers are all kinds of things, marriage license, birth certificates, medical examinations, home study, reference letters, pictures of us, our children, and house, pet vaccination records, fingerprints, background checks... Once that gets approved, we will be placed on the waiting list to be matched with her.
In China, you can pick your child off of a waiting list or you can be matched with one. If you wanted to pick your child, you would probably have to take a child with a bigger medical conditon/disability. You would read their story and see their picture and that's how you could connect with one and decide which one you want. We have decided to be matched. We have said that we want a girl between the ages of 1 years old to 5 and 11 months old with very minor special needs. In China is you want a "perfect" child you will wait several years. If you are willing to take on a child with special needs the process isn't as long. In China, they have the severe medical conditions/disabilities, but they also classify things like asthma, premature birth, one eye slightly lower than the other eye, hemangioma, umbilical hernia... as a special needs child. We have said that we will take a child with something like that. We would love to take on something bigger, but we just don't have the finances to take in a child that may need several surgeries or medical attention.
This is just my guess, but I am hoping that we will be matched with her this spring and see her picture and then travel over to China to get her sometime this fall/christmas time. It could take longer, it could be shorter, it's totally out of our hands. We know that God has her already picked out for our family and is watching over her and beginning to prepare her for us. We know he has all the details worked out and all we need to do is trust and wait.
This whole process is teaching us so much! We are big planners and like to be in charge and on top of things. Well an adoption is something that is completely out of our hands! We can do our best to keep things moving, but there are many times where it's out of our hands and we just have to wait and trust. Another thing is that it's brought me out of my comfort zone. I would have never said I would sell something. I am just not a salesperson. I don't like to talk in big groups and I don't want to force someone to buy something. So we are learning so much about ourselves during this process that will make us better in the long run.
We are so excited for this journey and can't wait to finally see a picture of our new little girl. We would so appreciate your prayers during this time and I will keep this updated with any news, pictures, information that we get. Thank you so much for your friendship, encouragement, and all that you do for us. We are truly grateful to have such wonderful friends and family to help us through this journey. We definitely can't do it alone.
If you have further questions, please ask. I'm sure I left something out:)
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